Shit really is “fo’ real”

June 22, 2017 6:53 pm Published by

The Dutch government yesterday officially recognized that shit is, indeed, fo’ real, making it the first nation to formally entrench the declaration into law.  Whether or not shit actually is fo’ real has been a hot-button international issue in recent months with the Portuguese government having already splintered after fierce infighting among ruling party members over the matter.  “With this vote passing,” Dutch Prime Minister Wim Kok said at the post-session press conference, “we send a clear message that shit is, always has been, and always will be, fo’ real.”

The statement came across as a strong expression of traditional Dutch progressive values in a nation where there is a growing minority of Muslim citizens who generally opposed the proposition on religious grounds.  Dutch Muslim leader Imam Inem responded, “Only the Prophet – mad peace be upon Him – as the messenger of Allah, knew what was fo’ real real whereas we mere mortals, sitting on our mortal coil, cannot make such false declarations.”  Jamaica also announced that it is considering diplomatic recourse against the Netherlands that may include a boycott of Dutch marijuana, a move that could substantially hurt the country’s already-flimsy economy.

But in the end, political analyst Brad Smith says, the recognition has been “a long time coming.  With all the work coming out of Dr. Dre’s lab as well as all the great stuff that the German Sheisse movement has been doing over the years, it was only really a matter of time before broader society took it on.”

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